My Last Sexual Fantasy

He asked me what my sexual fantasy was.  I said the only thing left for me to do is much too difficult for anyone. He felt challenged I’m sure. He gave me that smile that melts my heart and ask “What?” I surprised myself with how easily the words came. ” I want to make love. I want to feel love. That is the only thing I am lacking to fulfill all my sexual fantasies.”

He was moved, I saw it in his eyes. He wants the same thing. I saw the love, and then I saw the moment he put up the wall the one that protects his heart.

Since that conversation our sex life changed. We went from five or six times a week to twice a month and now it has been over 1 month. However I must admit, twice he tried and it broke my heart but I said no because I want more.

He makes me feel amazing. But the next day when he assures me that we’re not in a relationship it makes me feel horrible. I long for his touch, not lust, I want Love.



So, this is my life. I am both happy and sad and I am still trying to figure out how that could be.

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